Christmas

I love Christmas. It's fun; it's happy, and it can be celebrated in many different ways. When I was little, the focus was on Santa Claus and presents. Everything was magical and filled with wonder for me. I knew all the religious stories, and tried to remember about baby Jesus, but none of that could compare to the strange story of a jolly fat man who traveled around the world in a sleigh pulled by reindeer that could fly. I accepted everything. It didn't matter to me that none of it made sense. It was exciting, and everyone I knew shared in the excitement.

When I found out that Santa Claus was just a made up story to keep kids entertained and occupied in the days before Christmas, I still retained some of the magic because it meant I was now one of the grown-ups. I could share in the make-believe, and make sure my younger siblings didn't find out the truth. I was allowed to stay up later and help wrap presents.  I could pretend with my older brother and sister that tonight Santa was coming and we had to go to bed early and make sure we were asleep before he got to our house. That was fun, too.

During the years in between growing up and giving birth to my daughter, I lost my way. I became embroiled in the rush and stress of the holidays, and believed I had to make Christmas the perfect holiday. I had to include a creche in my decorations, and make sure everyone knew that I remembered what Christmas really stood for. I made sure I attended church in the weeks before the holiday so I wouldn't be seen as one of those people who attended church on the holidays only. I became very self-righteous, and tried my best to be the perfect Christian. Of course, I failed, and became miserable at the very time of year when I was supposed to be happy.

My daughter saved me. Through her eyes I was able to see Christmas as a child again. I regained all the joy and happiness I had lost. Christmas once again became a fun and wonderful holiday. Even after she grew up I was able to forget the Christmas story and stay focused on the Santa Claus story. I hope I never lose that sense of magic again.